i am not asthmatic...: Archive

9 tags

May 28th

Joe.

Joe: Hi! My name is Joe! And I work in a button factory! One day, my boss came up to me and said
Boss: Hi Joe! Are you busy?
Joe: Yeah, actually, pretty busy at the moment..
Boss: Oh, uh, really? I had some pretty important stuff for you to do...
Joe: Did you now? Were you going to ask me to push another button with a various body part for hours on end? Was that it!?
Boss: ...
Joe: That's what I thought, fuckass.

May 28th

4 notes

8 tags

May 24th

romeo: hey i just met you.
romeo: and this is crazy.
romeo: but i saw you at your dad's party that i wasn't supposed to attend and i thought you were pretty cute so i followed you and we kissed but then your nanny called you away and i found out you were a capulet and got bummed so i sneaked into your back yard in the middle of the night and climbed your balcony uninvited to profess my undying love after an hour even though i wanted to bone rosaline like two scenes ago. 
romeo: so marry me maybe.

May 20th

97,827 notes

May 17th

6,840 notes

May 15th

1 note

May 15th

304 notes

May 12th

256,146 notes

May 9th

31,655 notes

May 7th

687 notes

6 tags

May 5th

8 tags

May 5th

3 tags

Apr 30th

3 tags

Apr 30th

28,240 notes

6 tags

Apr 30th

1 note

A small message to Brothers & Sisters who think...

I don’t care who said this, people of all faiths should practice it..

Apr 29th

14 notes

Apr 26th

33,557 notes

Apr 26th

22,659 notes

Apr 23rd

45,699 notes

4 tags

Apr 14th

2 notes

3 tags

Apr 13th

Apr 12th

6,370 notes

Apr 11th

3,024 notes

Apr 7th

175 notes

Apr 4th

Apr 3rd

2,892 notes

Apr 2nd

53,052 notes

Mar 30th

128 notes

Mar 30th

24,126 notes

Mar 30th

14,454 notes

Portlandia, Capri Sun, my boyfriend. Perfect late night.

Mar 8th

So...

mordaciouslyyours: My dad’s name is Andrew. One of my older sisters married a guy named Andrew. Another of my older sisters is going to marry her boyfriend, whose name is Andrew. One of my little sisters has a crush on a guy named Andrew. Please don’t tell me I’m the only one who thinks this is weird. THIS IS PERFECTLY NORMAL. ANDREWS ARE KEEPERS. SIMPLE AS THAT. ;-P

Feb 26th

11 notes

Jan 31st

89 notes

One of the more awkward moments of my life is happening right now..

Jan 20th

3 notes

Jan 18th

1,399 notes

Stained Glass Storms: herlonelyangel reblogged... →

mordaciouslyyours: herlonelyangel reblogged your link: that’s what I said: Mormonism’s Impossible Gospel Ugh, this makes me so sick. Just stop trying to convert people, will you? What Mormons believe is actually really cool,… I don’t convert anyone; only God can convert. As for getting off our… Much like Christians are horrified by the ‘Baptist church’s that spouts...

Jan 12th

12 notes